fluent-in-lesbianism:

mistercoventry:

“Oh, you’re straight? So is spaghetti until it gets hot. ;)”

Are you suggesting we boil heterosexuals

#the real gay agenda

no offense but i want to set you on fire

lannistershavethephonebox:

icebergshanti:

romulusxeatsxremus:

cozyqueen:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13

Where is 12?

fuck 12

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ethan-lawson-wate:

justabitunlikely:

so who do I get in touch with about marrying obama’s speechwriter

image

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welldonegenius:

supernatural-tardis:

i never thought that a left boob grabbing meatball flavored dorito would ruin my life but here i am 

what does any of that even mean?

mansionofmuses:

valperch:

empresspinto:

I’m sorry but I was totally expecting that to be an innuendo

LOL OH SHIT ITS BACK

I like how the mustard doesn’t even fucking squirt out. Like wow what a worthless ass ghost.

hisroyalmagesty:

nerdinessinabluebox:

thorthousand1:

Just called an anorexia help line and the girl answered and immediately hearing I was male said “you’re real funny douche” and hung up. If you dot think that’s messed up, u messed up.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME

I think people should know that in the end he called back and talked to the manager and it turned out another guy with his area code had been harassing the girl all night and she was extraordinarily sorry.

coffeedential:

what if a ghost is in love with me and is using its powers to keep boys away from me because that would explain a lot

jehovahsllamas:

LASAGNA

starllex:

when your mom is yelling at you to do more chores while you’re doing chores and you’re there like 

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midbloods:

does anyone else realize how gross that paint would look though? I mean that shit’s gonna blend together instantly unless you meticulously wash your brush after each stroke. And then you’ll end up being a sad artist with paint the color of leprechaun diarrhea.